it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
