Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
