I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
