last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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