dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
