I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
