I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
