Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
