Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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