What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
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