just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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