the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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