Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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