Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize