He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
is wine microwaveable?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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