I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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