I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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