4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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