spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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