I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Someone shattered a urinal.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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