The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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