So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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