Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
