i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
