I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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