no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
