And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
