i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
