I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
