how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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