Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
