Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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