How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
