The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
