Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
