Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
