are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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