so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
