youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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