They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
That reminds me...we need to get swords
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
