There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
