Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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