My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I supernannyed him into submission
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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