Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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