she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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