so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
