Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
