She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
