she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
you never un-have a 4some
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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