so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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