dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
